This morning, I woke up feeling like I was the luckiest girl on earth. I am so thankful to have a complete family and great friends around me. They are amazing. I'm surprised at how they are able to tolerate my unpredictable temper. Honestly speaking, it's not easy to understand me. Maybe it's really hard to deal with someone like me, because I'm too straightforward and most of the time I don't realise that I'm hurting the people around me with the things I say. So most of the time when I don't feel good, I'll just try to shut myself down. Like intentionally ignoring my phone, ignoring calls and texts. It's like I feel like I need some time on my own before I flare up unnecessarily which will not do anything good to the situation. It will probably add on to the complications and make it even harder to salvage it. But eventually things do work out in the end and that's great. :) But recently there has been a few things troubling me. Troubling me so much that I feel like I'm suffocating. I thought the best way is to ignore it because I honestly don't know what can I do. But I wonder why did things turned out so sour... We weren't like this last time. Or perhaps I didn't even put any notice to how things were going haywire from the start. I hated what I was doing and I feel helpless because I can't do nothing to change that. Oh well. I don't think I should continue with whatever I was implying... It's hard for the whole world to understand, it's harder to picture how I feel now. It's a lot of things. Don't bother trying to figure it out for me because I don't even know what's wrong with me. Sigh. Complicated. I just hope that things will get better soon, I'll find my way back to my normal life. :)
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