Let it all out

Yesterday Sze g told me about this video that she watched in lit class. So I went to watch it on YouTube. I clicked the replay button over and over again. While I was watching this video, thoughts of my sec 2 life begin flashing in my mind. I don't know if anyone remembers this. I doubt anyone will because it's just that insignificant to them. But it has made an impact in my life. I was just someone who was living in my own world. In my own personal space , staying in my comfort zone. My daily routine is to go school alone , go recess alone and go home alone. It was just this repeated cycle for nearly 3months. When I was younger I saw quotes like ' Even when you're in a room filled with people, you can still feel lonely' ' Silence can be the loudest cry'
' Like happiness , times of sadness are inevitable '. It relates to how lonely I felt when I was eating alone in the canteen filled with people. It was when people made judgements about me and I choose to keep quiet or pretend I didn't hear it so that I can escape from everything. And being sad has became part of my daily life. They always say that being sad is normal. Being sad is when you have this feeling of emptiness and numbness deep inside your heart. And sometimes it's hard to explain why are you sad.
Side trackkkk
I was just looking at the website of the creator of that video and some link brought me to a website filled with poems. Poems regarding the thoughts of the people who were bullied. I wasn't bullied but I was somehow outcasted in a way which no one knows and no one bothered to help me.


"You should know, bullying hurts.
It starts with one word, one word you blurt.
Fat, ugly, worthless. These are the words they hear.
Did you know, your their biggest fear?

Day by day you torment them,
it takes so long for their hearts to mend.
All they ask for is one true friend,
but you make them want their lives to end.

Everyday they wake up with regret,
all they want to do is forget.
It's not just hitting and punching, it's the words you say,
they hurt so much, they want to fade away.

This is when enough is enough,
they're sick of playing strong, sick of playing tough.
But they know they can make it through,
you may not have known, but they always knew.

They put on a fake smile and pretend they're okay,
they believe they can make it all the way.
Of course your words still offend,
but they have been pieced back together again.

Someone leaves the crowd and lends them a hand,
they learn that it's time to stand.
Their smile is no longer fake,
now they have no reason to ache.

You see, all they ever needed was a friend,
someone to stand by them when the bullying came again.
Now they are free,
the insults barely sting, don't you see?

The bully is never wanted, unless wanted to leave,
The person you bullied now has no need for long sleeves.
Your work here is done, not that it should of started,
now who's the one who feels broken hearted?

Bullying gave you power, that they refused to give,
you can't help but wonder ''what if''.
What if they didn't get so strong?
What if they were crumbled all along?

What you don't think of, is what could of been,
what if they pulled the razor to their skin?
What if you pushed them too far,
to where they tied a rope around their collar.

What if they wrote down all the secrets they had to spill,
right before taking an overdose on the pills?
You don't know what could of been done,
you were doing it all for fun.

You think they're losers, but they're stronger than you,
have you seen what they've been through?
With your words you gave a black eye,
they are leaving, bully, so say your goodbye.

But one more thing before you go,
did you enjoy my little show?
Remember, words can hurt more than the punch,
Believe me now? Cause this was just a hunch."