Chasing the last train when we both know it's too late.

Went to bed with a heavy heart last night. Millions of thoughts were racing through my mind. I was so confused.... Why didn't things work out last time? Why do I deserve all these ? I just want to plunge into a deep black hole of sadness. But then again I managed to snap out of this sadness as life has actually in fact been pretty good to me. At least I was rewarded with something that I've been hoping for months. :) In 18 days' time , a new chapter of my life begins. I want to fight for what I want, I want to do well. I want my hardwork to pay off. I need this fighting spirit to get me through the year. I need to gain some faith for myself academically. Tonight I just wanna finish up the math homework and just collapse on my bed and have a good rest :) But I am currently so disorganised and messy. I need to seriously plan out my schedule for the next three weeks before school starts.